WHY IS IT SO HARD TO FIND HONESTY AND CAN IT BE RESTORED?

For this week's blog I decided to step away from my posts on political correctness - although I am sure I will return to it in the weeks to come.  Today I wanted to talk about honesty.

I once heard a quote from George MacDonald that stated: "To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved."  It took me a while to wrap my head around that one because my first impulse was to strike back with the fact that no feeling is greater than to be loved.  However, after mulling it over I began to think about the people in my own life whom I loved and who I trusted and I came to a startling conclusion.  I didn't necessarily trust everyone I loved and I didn't love everyone I trusted.  So why was that?

The answer was not hard to figure out.  The people I trusted were those who were honest in all of their dealings - you had absolutely no doubt about their actions or words.  On the other hand, those that I did not trust were those who were not honest or, at the very least, not honest on a consistent basis.  They stretched truth and they were not above "getting even" with the other guy who they believed had been unfair to them.  As an example, I have had friends who were given too much change back on a purchase they had made and did not return or report the oversight.  In stead, they made comments such as, "They've overcharged me in the past - this just makes things even," or "If they're too stupid to count then they deserve to lose money."  These comments are simply given to try and justify an action that they knowingly know is deceptive and dishonest.  My thought on this is that if we can so easily be dishonest on small things (and I say that facetiously because what may seem small to one can be a big thing to another) then it is not that big of a leap to become dishonest in every facet of our lives, including being dishonest to ourselves.

I have come in contact with many dishonest people throughout my life but for this article I am going to focus on one specific industry - mostly because my son just had an incident this week that made me think back on my own experiences - and that is with the industry of auto repair and, more specifically, auto mechanics.  Dishonest dealings among this group runs rampant.  Do they really have no integrity? I know that's a blanket statement but the percentage of dishonest mechanics is mind boggling and it's sickening to think that they can actually sleep at night.  They rob their fellow men blind.

I could list literally dozens and dozens of incidents where I or a family member or friend have been ripped off by mechanics but for the sake of space, I'll relay only three experiences I have had.  The first happened way back when I first started to drive.  I was excited to finally have my own car and I was determined to take good care of it.  My first item to address was to put four new tires on - I wanted to be safe.  New tires on I drove away feeling good.  When I got out of the car I noticed a green liquid dripping from underneath the car.  My first thought was that the mechanic had to have punctured something when he put the tires on because I absolutely had no leak when I brought my car to him.  I immediately turned around and headed back to the mechanic's.

The mechanic patiently listened to my concern, took my car in and an hour later told me that no puncture had occurred during the tire installation; however, I had a bad radiator and it was leaking antifreeze.  Okay, so how much was that going to cost me?  The mechanic threw a whole lot of terminology at me that, as a newbie to driving, were well beyond my understanding - something on the line that since the radiator would have to be replaced then this thing would need to be replaced as well and, naturally, we would also have to replace that thing and so on.  They could do the repair that afternoon for an estimated cost of $650.00.  $650.00 I blanched.  I was a poor college student.  $650.00 might as well have been $6,500.00.  There was no way that I could afford that.  I told the mechanic I would think about it and get back to him later.  He told me the car was not safe and I would be taking a risk trying to drive it.  I had no choice but to drive away.  -  I'll finish this story later.

My second experience occurred a few years later.  Again, I had a new used car and one day the directional rod snapped off.  I took my car to a mechanic (and this one had been recommended to me) who told me it would take several days to fix it.  Yup - you read that right - several days to fix a directional rod.  Even though flags popped up - since the mechanic had been recommended, I figured it was what was needed so I left my car with him.  Three days later I got a call that the part had been replaced and I could now come and get it.

Happy to be getting my car back I arrived at the shop, seeing my car sitting at the back of the lot, and walked into the office.  I was handed a bill for $64.00 which was broken down to $20.00 for parts and $44.00 for labor (translated to 1 and 1/2 hours of labor).  Really?  Happy to have my car back I paid the bill and practically skipped to my car.  Got in, pulled out and then hit the directional rod to pull out of the lot.  Boy was I surprised when the rod fell off onto the floor.

I pulled right back up to the shop's office and told the mechanic what had happened (I was holding the broken directional rod).  The mechanic walked out to the car and looked at the broken half of the rod attached to my wheel and then had the audacity to say, "Guess the glue didn't stick."  GLUE?  Was he kidding?  I paid $20.00 for GLUE?  That was my replaced part?

Not even looking at me he went back into the shop and quickly returned with a package.  He opened the package that contained a brand new directional rod.  He unscrewed the broken rod on the steering wheel and then screwed in the new rod.  As he was doing that I glanced at the package the rod was in.  There was a price tag of $5.99.  He finally looked back up at me and said, "That should do it.  They'll be no charge for the new part.  Have a good day."  He then walked back into his office, leaving me dumbfounded.  It had taken him less than five minutes to replace the part once I showed him the broken rod.  Less than five minutes!  He had kept my car for three days, told me he had replaced the part and then charged me $64.00.  Let's see, I was charged $20.00 for my own broken rod that he GLUED on.  That glue cost me $20.00 and he then charged me $44.00 for less than five minutes of labor.  At that price, that would translate into $528.00 per hour for labor. And then he had the gall to tell me that there would be no charge for the new part.  Are you freaking kidding me.  How does he look at himself in the mirror?

My third experience happened while I was living outside of Atlanta, Georgia.  My Dodge Grand Caravan began to have transmission problems.  By this time I was experienced enough to know that transmission problems meant lots of $$$.  I took my car to Aamco Transmission.  After four hours, I was given a quote of nearly $900 to fix it.  I was told that many parts needed to be replaced.  Like my earlier days, I decided to get a second opinion so I went to Mr. Transmission.  Two hours later I was given a quote of $580.00.  Still high but a lot better than the $900.  I thought I'd go with that but then my husband decided to check on one more mechanic.  Looking through the yellow pages he found a small family owned mechanic - it was Abercrombie Transmission located in Douglasville, Georgia.

We headed off to Abercrombie and an hour later we were given a quote - the total cost for parts and labor would be $97.00.  Yup - $97.00.  The mechanic explained what needed to be done.  I didn't need a whole lot of parts replaced.  We went with Abercrombie and my car ran beautifully for the next several years until we gave it away to one of our kids.  The mechanics at Aamco and at Mr. Transmission were grossly dishonest in what needed to be done to my car - grossly dishonest to me and they did so without a single care.  However, in this case, I did find someone who was honest - honest to a fault - the mechanic at Abercrombie Transmission.  He wasn't interested in ripping me off - he was interested in doing what was right.  Even at $97.00 he made a profit - a reasonable profit - not a highway robbery profit.  He was a godsend.  Later I learned from several other people in the area that if you wanted good work and an honest mechanic - head over to Abercrombie.

Back to my first story.  I drove away in what was supposed to be a dangerous vehicle.  I drove it to Sears.  In those days, Sears was providing full auto repair services.  As you recall, my car was leaking green fluid and the mechanic who had replaced my tires, now quoted me $650 to replace my radiator, among other things.  So now here I was at Sears.  I relayed what had happened to the head mechanic there.  He looked to be in his forties and so I asked him if he had a daughter.  He blinked a few times and then said that he did have one.  I then said, "Please treat me like you would want someone to treat your daughter."  He studied me for a few seconds and then asked me to lead him to my car.

Outside in the parking lot he got down on his hands and knees and looked under my car.  He inspected it from several angles and then asked me to pop the trunk.  I thought that was a strange request but obligingly, I popped the trunk.  He looked inside and then pulled out a container of antifreeze that I kept in there.  He then turned to me and said, "I found your leak.  The antifreeze tipped over and the cap is loose.  Antifreeze is leaking out and seeping through the trunk.  There are no punctures, nothing wrong with your radiator, you just have a leaking trunk."  Tightening the cap, he handed the antifreeze container to me and smiled, "That should fix it."

You can imagine that I felt quite dumb and very embarrassed.  I asked him how much he wanted for his time and he said, "Nothing - I've got a good story to tell my wife tonight."  Despite my embarrassment, the one thing I knew was that he had treated me honestly.  The mechanic at Abercrombie had treated me honestly.  There is honesty out there but why is it so hard to find?

There once was a time in our society when honesty was the norm - no matter what profession you were in - no matter what age you were - people prided themselves in being honest.  Today - we live in a world of entitlement and that mindset has made us think that our actions, whatever they may be, are justified because we are entitled to whatever we want by whatever means it takes to get it and we could care less about the other guy.  With a growing generation of entitlees - can the pride in being honest to our fellow man ever be restored or do we continue on this downward slide of total disregard for one another.  I believe if we can all start focusing on being truthful, first to ourselves and then to our fellow man, then a lot of the problems we face in the world today would melt away.  We need to care for one another (see my posts on how political correctness wants us to fear one another) and, more importantly, we need to care about ourselves and hope that one day we can receive the greatest compliment - the compliment of being someone who can be trusted.

Would love to hear of your experiences with honesty.  Let's together focus on restoring a lost art.

Until next time,
your friend,
Chris