Recently I was involved in a conversation with a group of people at work about the state of relationships as they exist today and how they differ from years gone by.Finally one person asked the following question: “Is marriage taken seriously anymore?”
Immediately after the question was asked people began to chime in on such things as gay marriage, civil marriage, plural marriage and even no marriage.A few mentioned that they believed that the institution of marriage was a thing of the past – that it was, at one time, only a means by which “women” were taken care of but nowadays women are very capable of taking care of themselves so marriage was no longer necessary.Huh?Well that response clearly had no religious understanding behind it.Others believed it still was taken seriously but had a different significance and that significance was the fact that people no longer had to feel “trapped” in an unfavorable marriage.There was no longer any stigma associated with divorce and so, in their opinion, marriage now comes with a lot less constraints and restrictions.My thought on that response was, “What constitutes as being unfavorable?”
For a number of years I worked for a sole-practitioner who handled several divorce cases.One case that I remember was a couple that had been married for one year.The wife came in asking for a divorce because, and these were her words, “I am tired of asking him to take out the trash.I am not going to put up with that any longer.I warned him and now I want a divorce.”To her, her husband’s lack of taking out the trash to her specification made her marriage “unfavorable”.Really?Is that a legitimate reason to get a divorce?Apparently so because she got it and her case of a trivial reason was not the only one we handled.So, yes, the comment made by my co-worker that there is no longer a stigma attached to being divorced is correct but is that really a good thing?
So it came to be my turn to answer the question on whether marriage is taken seriously anymore and here is how I responded:
“The resounding answer to that question is an unequivocable NO.Why? - Because this world has lost its values, its morals and its love for God and the family unit.In the past the family was the central core of any human’s existence.You loved, worked, lived and breathed for the unity of the family.The family consisted of a father, a mother, siblings and grandparents.Everything you did in life was to help strengthen and nurture that family unit and, in return, your reward was learning and understanding about yourself and knowing that you were not alone in this world.As a child you grew up in a family unit and learned what it would take to find, create and sustain your own family one day and the first part of that journey was to find a mate – not only someone to love and be best friends with but who held your same values, who would stand by you through thick and thin, who would be your sounding board, your strength, your confidant, your advisor, your spiritual helpmate.That relationship you knew would need to be nurtured and not taken lightly or for granted.It would be a relationship that would take a lot of work and self sacrifice but it would most definitely in the end be worth it.Building a strong relationship between you and your spouse was paramount to creating a strong family unit for your children.In the past, everyone knew and understood this and that is why marriage was taken very seriously.It was understood that it was to be a lifelong commitment.You knew that there would be bad times, horrible times and hard times but you also knew that there would be spectacular times, inspiring times, uplifting times and joyous times.As the hair on your heads turned grey, you and your spouse could look back and realize, together, that you wouldn’t have changed a thing – not even the bad for, in reality, that is when you learned and grew the most.
Today – people are different.Gone almost completely is the love for the family unit.God has very little to do with anything – He only gets in the way.In their place we have found selfishness and feelings and beliefs of self-entitlements.Today people think the world revolves around them and them only.It’s all about what I want, what I like, what I feel – me, me, me and more me.If the other person in your life doesn’t give you what you want you simply discard them.Children are seen as a burden not as a blessing (notice how pet stores have sprung up over just the past 20 years – their less burdensome).Why? – Because children hinder upon their finances and freedom to do whatever, whenever.There are no moral or spiritual commitments to anyone or anything.In fact, anything that even hints at being moral or spiritual is spat upon or quickly brushed aside as irrelevant and infantile.Why? – Because both moral and spiritual values entail sacrifice of self – a totally foreign concept for the entitlees of today.The entitlees of today will tell you that they are freer to express themselves – to be themselves – whatever lifestyle that may entail.That is truly comical because if they could only stand back and take a real hard look at themselves they would easily see that it is they who have become enslaved to a corrupt, addictive mentality that, in the end, will only bring them heartache, loneliness and deep despair.It is the very loss of the seriousness of marriage and all that it entails that has and continues to corrode the foundation of the entire world.It is why the children of today flounder in knowing who they are, what their purpose is, what their value is and what kind of future will they have.Without having the strong bond and values of a family unit solidified through marriage, they are lost.We have an entire generation that is traveling down a road to nowhere.”
I do believe that there are circumstances that warrant a divorce – those that entail physical and/or emotional abuse – severe and persistent abuse not just a one time thing.Marriage is work – hard work – unending work although it does get a lot easier as we age and get a history behind us.It is not all sunflowers and roses.It also entails thorns, splinters and spasms.This is what you sign on for when you make the decision to get married.You don’t go running when times get a little rough but society today echoes the very opposite.Today’s mentality is – I don’t like that so I’m out of here.Divorcing is easy.In fact, today if you have never been divorced you are looked at as though there is something wrong with you.To me, that mind thinking is what is wrong but it reflects the average opinion of what marriage is today.It’s mostly used as a tax shelter but the laws are revolving to eliminate that so marriage is on a drastic decline and as it continues to decline, so shall we all.
If we want to fix this we need to once again hold marriage as sacred.We need to honor each other and grow together – not follow selfish different pathways.And, above all, we need to bring God back into the picture because if He isn’t there – then nothing else will ever really matter.
Do you
remember a time when decency reigned in this country?Oh, for sure, people had differences of
opinions, beliefs and value systems but overall we treated each other with
respect and that was especially true when it came to young people and
adults.As a child (and I use this term
broadly to include small children all the way up through high school age), you
respected all adults whether they were your parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles,
teachers, police officers, librarians, etc.You may not have always agreed with the adults but you never argued with
them, cursed at them, berated them, ignored them and outright bullied them.Just the thought of doing any such things
would frighten and repulse you.Unfortunately, those feelings and opinions are no longer recognized or
adhered to by today’s youth.
As most
people are well aware of by now, just this past week in upstate New York a 68 year old
grandmother who worked as a school bus monitor was maliciously and repeatedly
maligned and bullied on a school bus by 12 and 13 year old students.Foul language was repeatedly hurled at her,
derogatory remarks about her weight were spewed upon her over and over again,
reference to “stabbing” her was uttered in gleeful laughter, and when she
cried, insults increased.Not one ounce
of compassion was shown to her.Not one
student stood up to her defense.Not
even the bus driver did a thing.How is
it that our youth of today have grown to be so callous, so uncompassionate, so
hateful and so disrespectful to what should be so precious and so dear?
Political
Correctness and Child Protective Services: Destroyers of the Family.
As I have
written in prior posts, political correction has done a massive amount of
damage in how our society has and is evolving.Nowadays it is nearly impossible for a parent to teach their children
about what is right and what is wrong and what is real truth and what is
absolute lies.Why?Because the political correctness
bandwagoners loudly scream out foul play.To them, nothing is wrong and anything or anyone teaching otherwise is
teaching hatred.So, from this warped
thinking comes a generation that is being reared with no value system – no
concept of right and wrong – and most certainly no understanding of
consequences to actions.
But the
political correctness craze is not the only factor in the downfall of today’s
youth.Child Protective Services (CPS)
has also played a huge role in the degradation of the values of youth when it
comes to their interaction with their fellowmen and especially as they relate
to any adult authority.Again, as I
wrote about in an earlier post, CPS defines “anything” that makes you feel uncomfortable
as being an act of abuse.If a teacher
tells you to do a homework assignment and that makes you feel uncomfortable,
then the child is to deem the teacher as an abuser.If a parent asks a child to clean up their
room or tells him or her that they cannot go out late at night or that they
cannot wear a questionable outfit, then that child is free to make the
determination that the parent’s limitation on them is an act of abuse against
them.If a child works and their boss
tells them to do something that they don’t want to (which makes them feel
uncomfortable) then the boss is considered an abusive person.The list goes on and on to the point that
anything any adult does or says is to be considered “abusive” by the youth of
today.Since the youth see all adults as
abusers, they believe that they have no obligation to show any of them any
respect, any compassion and certainly not any feelings that the adults are even
human beings.CPS has instilled in them
that they are all powerful, all mighty and that the world should revolve around
them and their wants and, of course, that they can do no wrong.It is under these brainwashing concepts that
the students onboard that New York
school bus treated the bus monitor as they did.They believed it was their right and their prerogative to treat her as
they wished since she was, in their eyes, a non-human, invaluable thing that
deserved what she got for their misconceived determinations that she was an
“abuser” of their freedom to do whatever.
Don’t be fooled by
hollow apologies.
Since the
video of the bullying of the bus monitor spread throughout the airwaves, the
students involved in the incident have come forward, crying that they were
sorry for what they did.Don’t believe
them.They’re not sorry for what they
did but are sorry that their “fun” was received with shock and outrage.Some have received a lot of threats in
return.I do not condone those threats
but I do condone the treatment they are receiving as at least a showing of
consequences for their actions.I hope
in time that their faked apologies today will, in the long run, after their
consequences die down, impact them enough to make them want to become better
human beings themselves.After all, they
won’t be youths forever and will one day sit in the bus monitor’s seat as an adult,
a parent, a grandparent.
What we must do to
change the course of the youth.
We, as
adults, cannot sit back any longer as our youth slip away into darkness and
corruption.If we want the youth to
change, we have got to stand up against a society that is warring against our
value system.Stand up against political
correctness, make CPS accountable for the acts that they have aroused, be firm
in teaching right and wrong.Point out
what is real truth and what is falsely indoctrinated into them.BE PARENTS – not submissive friends afraid to
act because if you, as parents, don’t act then this generation will truly be
lost forever.
Child Protective Services (CPS) – Now if there was ever an oxymoron this so called agency would have to be at the top of the list.CPS was originally established in 1974 and its main purpose was to study and investigate possible incidents of reported child abuse.After conducting a thorough and complete investigation, the agency was to determine whether or not the abuse was actual or unsubstantiated.If the abuse was actual then the agency was to report same to the appropriate legal authorities and then aid the legal authorities in providing recommendations for resolving the incidents such as providing counseling, follow-up reviews and, in the most severe cases, removal of the child from their home and placing them either with other relatives as a first line of protection or, as a last resort, into foster care.Over the past few decades, however, CPS has transformed itself into being the biggest and deadliest perpetrator of child abuse this nation has ever encountered.How do they get away with it?Simply put – the agency has virtually no accountability for any of its actions whatsoever.
I do not believe there is anyone who actually believes that child abuse does not exist in our society.Clearly it does and the most egregious cases of abuse have made the headline news.The brutality, gruesomeness, ungodly atrocities that innocent children have had to endure under the hands of caregivers goes beyond what any normal human’s mind can grasp.It is appalling and heart-wrenching and our collective anger that such horrors have been able to occur has, in part, played into the hands of CPS.We, as a society, naively placed our trust into CPS believing that they would “protect” the innocent.We told them to “do what you have to” to stop the abuse.What we didn’t do, however, was to provide them with specific guidelines of what is to be considered as actual abuse.In essence, we gave them a blank check because we didn’t want to deal with the problem directly and CPS was all too happy to comply with our wishes.
CPS’s Standard for Classification of Substantiated Abuse
I find it rather interesting that just a few decades ago child abuse almost didn’t exist at all.No one even heard of it or, at the very least, no one certainly knew of anyone who was abused or who was being abused and no one considered themselves as being abused.Why then is it that over the past 20 to 30 years the number of supposed abuse cases reported in our nation has skyrocketed into the millions per year?In fact, in 1993 CPS reported that “there are 60 million survivors of childhood abuse in America.”Really?60 million?How can that be?To answer that question we have to look at what CPS classifies as “abuse”.
Elementary, Middle and High Schools across our land have been, and are continuing to be, visited by agents of CPS.These agents attend classes and instruct our children on what abuse is.For the most part, parents are never notified of these visits.CPS’s justification for this is that they want the “children to feel safe in discussing any issue that goes on in their home without fear of ‘retaliation’ from their parents.”This mindset instills in our children that there should be a “wedge” between them and their parents, that they must keep secrets from their parents and that all parents are perpetrators – I mean, don’t all parents “retaliate” against their children?According to CPS – the answer is a resounding “yes”.And what does the CPS agent tell our children what is defined as being abuse?CPS’s guideline for what constitutes abuse is “anything anyone says or does that makes you feel uncomfortable is a form of abuse.”That’s it – that’s the whole guideline – ANYTHING that makes you feel uncomfortable.In addition, the agent instructs the children to report anything that makes them feel uncomfortable to their teachers, their school counselors, the police or call and report it to CPS but do not let your parents know you are reporting them.So, what does that mean to you and me?If you ask your child to take out the trash and that act makes him or her feel “uncomfortable” then they are to consider your action as being abusive to them and they, in turn, can report you to either their teachers, school counselors, the police or CPS and, believe me, you WILL be investigated for it and your name will go on a report as a possible child abuser.You should also know that the child does NOT have to prove anything and if and when the supposed abuse incident is deemed unsubstantiated, there is no accountability to the child for making the report.Again, you should be aware of the fact that the “accused” in a child abuse matter is always deemed “guilty” until he or she can prove that they are innocent.
In studying up on this issue, I came across several ridiculous stories of supposed child abuse but I decided to list here the two that most affected me.The first took place just a few years ago in Florida when a 9 year old boy reported to his teacher at school that his parents refused to buy him a TV for his bedroom.This was very upsetting to him.The teacher reported it to his school counselor who in turn reported it to CPS.Two CPS agents, along with two police officers, showed up at the boy’s house on a claim of “emotional abuse”.The parents were stunned.They advised the CPS agents that they had made the determination not to let any of their children have a TV in their bedrooms as it distracted them from doing their homework and sleeping at night.The CPS agents told the parents that they “needed parental counseling” and if they did not buy a TV for their son that he would be “removed” from the home and placed in foster care.It was their determination that this was a substantiated case of child abuse and if the parents did not comply, not only would the boy be removed from the home but so would the other children.One of the agents then announced that if the parents did not consent to purchasing the TV at that very moment, then the police officers with them would remove their son right then.Frightened, the parents verbally consented and a week later the CPS agents and police officers returned to the home and visually inspected the boy’s room to witness that the boy now had a TV.
In the second incident, a 7 year old girl was sitting in her classroom and her teacher noticed she had gum stuck in her hair.The teacher asked the girl about the gum and was told that her mother had given her a piece of gum after dinner the night before and, after chewing it for a while, she had placed it under her pillow.She claimed it must have gotten stuck in her hair during the night and she didn’t want to tell her mother about it because her mother would get mad at her.The teacher then sent the child to her school counselor to report the incident.Later that very afternoon two CPS agents and police officers showed up at the girl’s home.The CPS agents stated they were there to investigate the mother because the daughter was “fearful” of her and what her mother would “do to her”.The mother, at that point, naturally had no idea what was going on.She was questioned, however, on why her daughter was so fearful of her.The little girl was present for this questioning and after watching her mother being hounded by the CPS agents, looked at her mother and said, “Mommy’s a bad person.”One of the agents pulled the little girl into her arms and told her, “Don’t worry.We’re here to protect you.”At some point the father came home during the interrogation and the CPS agents ended with giving him an ultimatum between either having them take the child into protective care or having the mother leave the home until she could be fully investigated.Bewildered, the mother left the home.It took 30 days for the investigation report to come back stating that the mother could now return to the home but that CPS would be keeping an eye on her.At no point was the gum issue ever brought up by the CPS agents.
Both of these incidents seem totally unbelievable.Certainly these didn’t really happen – but they did – and countless others like them.In fact, the numbers are staggering.Now you can see why today the reported cases of supposed child abuse runs into the millions.But what is equally if not more frightening in all of this is the fact that CPS is never, never, never held accountable for any of it.They just swoop in, breaking all kinds of legal laws – which I will not go into detail in this posting but will do so in another – destroying families, individual lives, careers, – the list goes on and on – just because their standard is that “anything” constitutes as abuse.
What’s in it for CPS?
We can no longer feign ignorance when it comes to CPS.And, although even I believe there are agents in the system who truly do desire to help the helpless victims of “real” abuse, even they are thwarted by the whole CPS establishment because, in truth, CPS has turned from an agency of protection to a business of big bucks and, since it’s a governmental body – that should be no surprise to anyone.So what’s in it for CPS?
For every child that CPS removes from the home and places them into foster care, the federal government pays that local agency $30,000.00.In addition, the parents are charged for the financial care of the child.If the child is handicapped, depending on the kind of handicap, the amount increases to between $40,000.00 and $150,000.00 per child.If the child is then “adopted” by a new family, an additional $4,000.00 bonus is given - $6,000.00 for adoption of a special needs child.The CPS agent who physically removes the child is given a commission from the government’s fund.The more kids removed – the more commission – the bigger the personal financial gain.On the other hand, if a child is allowed to remain in the home or is returned to the parental home, the CPS agency and agent receives nothing.Agents are, therefore, encouraged to remove children to help generate more funding for the agency.
CPS is a corrupt agency.
In November 2007, Georgia’s State Senator Nancy Schaefer published a report on CPS.Entitled, “The Corrupt Business of Child Protective Services,” Senator Shaefer’s report found, among other things, that CPS “issued unfair judgment on families without compassion and imposed unreasonable and impossible demands on the families that separated families and greatly stressed parents; law enforcement agencies routinely ignore complaints made against CPS; CPS receives extra funding for removing children from the home; fraud, fabrication, withholding and destroying of evidence, unnecessary termination of parental rights and then citing confidentiality clause to protect themselves; CPS gives kick backs to employees, lawyers, court investigators, guardian ad litems, judges, psychologists, psychiatrists, counselors, case workers, foster parents and others; CPS often interprets parental cooperation as an admittance of guilt; parents are treated as criminals; and children are in more danger in CPS care than in their own homes.”In fact, case studies revealed that children in the care of CPS are 600% more likely to die a violent death.So you tell me – who is the real abuser?
Senator Nancy Schaefer's Follow-Up on the Corruption in 2008
In 2008 Georgia Senator Nancy Schaefer did a follow-up on her report on the corruption in CPS and detailed how deep it went. Below is a video of Senator Schaefer's report. Just a few months after this video was made, Senator Schaefer and her husband were murdered. Although the media initially called Ms. Schaefer's death a murder/suicide, ongoing investigations have revealed more. It is now believed by many that Ms. Schaefer was actually "silenced" as her exposure could have cost CPS millions upon millions of dollars if counteraction was taken against them. The case remains open.
Parents Unite!
With the unchecked accountability that CPS has awarded itself, I foresee the future as even more bleak then it is today - most certainly so if we collectively stand by and allow it to continue.Many people turn a blind eye on the situation because they have not been a personal “victim” of CPS but I warn you – you’re time is coming.It’s time now for parents and grandparents to unite and start holding CPS accountable.Acquaint yourselves with the legal laws that, in reality, are there to protect you but for which far too many of us do not invoke.Understand that, legally, CPS has NO power – they are NOT a legal agency.That’s why they often show up with police officers – not that the police will do anything but they try to give you the illusion that they can.Beware that CPS agents will try to incite you to take an action that the police can then get involved.Don’t let them incite you – no matter how many false accusations they themselves will most likely make against you.The truth is, they cannot legally take a child from your home without a court order.In fact, if CPS agents show up on your doorstep, you can ask them to leave your premises and if they have anything to say, they are to contact your lawyer.You do not have to have any direct dealings with them.You actually have the power but thy use intimidation and blindsiding tactics to make you think you are helpless and that they have all the power.THEY DON’T.
In order to make a real change, however, we need to do more.Yes, an agency should exist to help those who are truly being brutally abused but we need to enforce strict guidelines of what constitutes abuse.We need to make certain that every single report is thoroughly investigated first before anyone is classified as a “possible abuser”.Before such classification is made, the allegation must be proven to be accurate without question.We need to make those investigations “open” so that both accuser and accused can be fully apprised of what the issues are and what is happening.We need to create checks and balances of the investigations so no biases are imposed by individual agents.We need the accuser to have to provide evidence of their allegations.And, finally, we need to outline consequences to be inflicted upon those who make false allegations and agents who abuse their role.This type of system and accountability is fair to all sides.Oh, and one other thing, we as parents need to pressure schools to stop hiding their tactics of alienating parents and children.If CPS agents are to come to the schools – then parents MUST be notified and ALLOWED to attend the classroom.No one or no agency has the right to ignore parental rights.
Will this change happen?It can if we unite.Already cases are making their way through the courts who are ruling against CPS agencies but these are few and far in-between.If we put repeated and unintimidating pressure on them, however, then they, in order to survive on any level, will have to change.We better act fast though because if something doesn’t change soon – we will lose all of our children and they, in turn, will never really know what it is like to be a parent because there will no longer be any such thing as parental rights.
