We are all allowed to have our own opinions about everything and anything and, here in the United States of America, we are all FREE to openly express those opinions.At least that’s one of the principals that this nation was founded upon.But is that principal still true?From what I see, read and hear nowadays – the answer is a sad and heartbreaking “no”.
People throughout hundreds if not thousands of generations have always had differences of opinions, beliefs and value systems and everyone accepted that.There was nothing wrong with having different opinions and, in fact, those opinions helped us to understand each other more and to appreciate each other as an equal.How did this appreciation of differences get so turned upside-down and inside-out to the point that instead of acceptance we now find open hatred and persecution with a constant battle being waged to demoralize and crush anyone who has a different belief and understanding than our own?
(Photo by: escoladedomingo.logspot.com)
I am certain that there will be a number of people who will disagree with me on this and that is okay because I do still believe in allowing others to have different opinions but - it is my opinion that there is so much hatred in the world today because religion has been taken out of the foundation of our lives. I know immediately some will be saying, “There you go again – bringing religion into it – how weak – how lame.”To that I say, “There you go again – avoiding truth just because it doesn’t allow you to have a blank check to do whatever it is you want to do.”
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There is a simple basic truth that we ALL must face and that is that there are things that are unequivocally wrong and there are things that are unequivocally right. (Check out my earlier blog on “Our Legal System – No Real Justice.”) Many times things that are wrong to do seem to be fun and enticing but regardless of how fun, exciting and enticing they may be – they are still wrong.Of course no one likes to be told that they are doing something wrong so in order to avoid facing that truth, they try to turn it around by insinuating that the person telling them that they are wrong is really the one who is wrong, closed minded and is committing a “hate” crime against them.These same people will then go about demoralizing anyone who has any degree of high moral, ethical and spiritual values by which they live by.And these people have the gall to think that they are the ones who are open minded? – How hypocritical!What they are really saying is, “Accept who I am and what I do but do not expect me to accept who you are and what you do.”Even the media cashes in on this philosophy.(Check out my earlier blog on “Tolerance is a Word Valuable in the Service of Satan.”)
A recent event that highlights this breakdown in acceptance of differences and spotlights the attack upon Christianity is the venomous rhetoric spewed out against Dan Cathy, President of the fast food chain Chick-Fil-A.Mr. Cathy recently stated that the family owned business is “supportive of the family – the biblical definition of the family unit.”He then went on to say, “I pray God’s mercy on our generation that has such a prideful, arrogant attitude to think that we have the audacity to define what marriage is about.”As soon as Mr. Cathy’s statement came out the gay-right activists and liberal organizations came out of the woodwork decrying how horrible Mr. Cathy was and that he was attacking them.Mr. Cathy did no such thing – not even slightly.He merely lent his support to traditional marriage as defined by God.He was not casting judgment on anyone – he was simply stating his belief and opinion.But, what the leftist have revealed in this incident, as well as so many others, is that it is okay to espouse support for gay marriage but it is heresy to espouse support for traditional marriage.Once again – how hypocritical.
This event also highlights why religion is pushed aside because the truth it brings goes against what they want – a lifestyle that is anything but supportive of God.Mr. Cathy was unequivocally right when he stated that this “generation has a prideful, arrogant attitude to think that we have the audacity to define what marriage is about.”Anything that goes against the laws of nature and God is wrong – BUT – we are all free to choose our own actions whether they be right or wrong.So if you want to be different and follow a different lifestyle then so be it – that is your right – BUT – don’t you dare deny me the same right to choose my lifestyle – one based with God at its foundation.It is I and those like me who do accept you (though not your values) – even with your differences.It is you who do not accept us.It is you who have brought hatred and turmoil to this world.That hatred and turmoil are the very fruits you have garnered through your wrong actions.
For many decades now those opposed to God and His words have been gaining ground and stifling Christianity on all fronts.If we who claim to be Christians continue to sit back and let the battle against our faith go unchallenged by bowing down to threats, intimidation and bullying by the radical non-Christians and liberalism, then we will have only ourselves to blame when we wake up one day and find that religion, all religions, have been banned and anyone trying to live by spiritual principals will be jailed.God instructed us to proclaim His word. His word is truth.God told us “Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”What does this mean?It means that we are to proclaim to the world what is right no matter how much we are attacked for pointing out what is true – and we will be attacked.We are to proclaim but we are not to force others to follow the right path - a path that if followed by all would lead us all to peace, joy and happiness.
Can we find the peace, joy and happiness that we have been promised?I believe that one day we shall but we will have to endure a period of great darkness before that day - a darkness that is already casting its shadow upon us.
Last week’s theater shooting in Aurora, Colorado sent a familiar shockwave through the nation – even the world.It’s familiar because it seems to be a recurring theme echoing over and over again.It’s become commonplace. Still, we sit back, scratching our heads in an attempt to try and understand how it could have happened yet again.What’s going on here?How can someone just go off like that?And then, before the victims’ blood even dries, we turn towards trying to understand what drove the shooter to do such a thing.
Instead of focusing on the anguish of the victims’ families, the media quickly scrambles to decipher the life of the shooter.Whether it was the killings at Columbine High School, the mall at Trolley Square in Salt Lake City, Utah, or the several fast food, post office and university massacres, the media is quick to jump in by “victimizing” the perpetrator.We hear stories of how the shooter was bullied in school, was isolated and taunted for their sexual preferences, was preyed upon because of their religious beliefs or ethic background, that they came from a broken home, moved around a lot, had certain political affiliations, etc., etc., etc. - as though any of that gives the shooter a justification for his or her act.
While the media progandizes the viewers into believing that they somehow contributed to the events that led to the shooter’s desperate act, the real truth behind what caused the shooting gets swept under the carpet.The media and the leftist don’t want you to focus on the actual reason because if you did, you might start hampering their efforts to completely change this world.So what’s the reason that caused the act you ask?Simple – political correctness.
You knew I’d get back to that topic – it was inevitable - inevitable because political correctness as I’ve been saying all along is the pivotal tool that is being used to destroy us all.We don’t communicate with each other because of fear.We cannot have moral, spiritual or economic values that would guide and shape us because those values are “offensive” to someone, somewhere.We cannot raise our children to have a value system because they are taught that those value systems instill hatred of others.We have Child Protective Services (“CPS”) that has infiltrated their influence in the schools and the homes, lodging a wedge between parent and child.Schools, CPS, political activist groups, gay rights groups, and liberal governmental bodies indoctrinate their rhetoric of self entitlements over the good of the masses.All of this is done under the umbrella of political correctness.
For the past few decades we have been raising generations with no values, no understanding of self and where they are to fit into society, no cohesiveness of what a family unit is and should be, no understanding of a higher being beyond themselves, no understanding of working and working hard for what they have or what they want to obtain, no understanding of putting another’s well being before their own, no ultimate understanding of any purpose to life whatsoever outside of self-gratification.We have generations of “it’s all about me” and you don’t matter – at all.You have no worth.
Technology, along with political correctness, plays a large role in our downfall as well.Oh we think we’re advanced and it’s great but the truth is – technology, or to clarify – some technology, has separated us and put us into isolation – reinforcing the lack of actual worth we have for each other because we don’t connect – not really.There was a day when I wanted to talk with someone I called them on the phone or went over to see them.Not now – nope cause, in today’s world - we text or e-mail.That’s wonderful you think?Actually, it’s very cold and unfeeling – especially when it becomes your heavily favored way of communicating.You don’t really communicate in a way to create a bond when you focus on presenting staged and censored wording of who you are.In order to truly communicate you need to communicate through fluctuations in your voice – through direct eye contact – through smell and through hearing.Those senses keep you honest.Those senses allow another to get to know who you really are.
Social media – got to love it – got to hate it.Again, we have turned to a technology to communicate rather than to a person to person form of communication.There is a commercial I have seen repeatedly where a teenage girl talks about her poor parents who are finally getting onboard with social media.She ridicules them for having only nineteen friends while she has 600 plus friends.That commercial irritates me every time I see it because the truth is – she doesn’t have 600 plus friends.She probably has never met more than a dozen or so of the people she is communicating with.They have nothing vested in her life and she has nothing vested in theirs but she, like so many others, is falsely lulled into believing that she has a multitude of “friends”.
Social media can be a good thing – don’t get me wrong.Good if it is used correctly but today’s generations have become enslaved to it and have become desensitized to relationships with actual people.Because of the fears imposed by political correctness, the lack of any value systems enforced by political correctness and the enslavement of communication through computers, people have no real comprehension or emotions in regards to the value of life of another human being because those people are not real.They’re just words on a screen.They’re expendable if you get bored with them.They’re expendable if they don’t provide you with what you want.They’re really “nothings”.And if you feel fed up, angry, and have a tantrum because you are not getting your way – then it’s okay to go out and shoot up some of those unreal people because they were interfering with your life and they don’t really matter anyway.Killing a “nothing” is easy.Killing something you have no connection with – no understanding of and no emotional connection with is easy.
Last week’s killings will not be the last.I think we’ve just seen the beginning of the tip of the iceberg on what is to come.We have millions and millions of unconnected children growing up.The only one who has any value to them is themselves.If you want to stand back and let political correctness and desensitized communications continue to flourish – then you only have yourselves to blame for what is to come because then you ARE part of the problem.
(Photo: georgia.com)
If you want things to change then you must be willing to fight back against political correctness and fight for the values that once made us all great.Help the children of today know who they are, where they belong in life, what a real family unit is, where they need to give thanks for what they have in life and an understanding for what they don’t have.We need to instill in them the need to value the lives of others as well as themselves.We need to teach them to love the family, to love God and to love their country.We need to communicate face to face.We need to stand up against anything and anyone who tries to take any of this away.If we don’t – then the killings will just get easier and easier.
I'd like to follow-up my prior blog on the topic of whether marriage is taken seriously anymore. In response to a comment I received, I wanted to add some clarification to my statements. Please remember that this is my sounding off as to my viewpoints and I do appreciate the fact that others have different viewpoints. I want you to feel free to express them - I don't take offense. Sometimes our viewpoints can open another's eyes to situations not anticipated or thought about by that person and sometimes my viewpoints can open eyes and understanding to others who had different understandings. Either way - this is a place to say what you like whether we agree or not.
The article I first wrote on this topic was meant to be more reflective of the importance given to marriage today by the younger generation and society as a whole.The sacredness and importance of marriage and ALL that it entails is not honored, revered or given the full commitment that it was in days gone by. (Naturally I do not mean this statement to be a blanket statement for everyone but it does by far cover the vast majority of today's mentality on marriage.)This is in great part due to the deplorable lack of morality that exists in today's world.
As for being a stigma - perhaps your understanding of that word and mine differ.I do not think of a stigma as being that a person is bad, unworthy, horrible or unwilling to make compromises and work out problems.How I mean stigma to be in the text of my posting was that after you got a divorce you would give far deeper thought into marriage, making sure that the next time you would get married that you would be more thorough in getting to know the person and how you and that person connect. You would weigh changes that life could bring you and talk out how each of you would re-act and act.Overall, you would have a far better understanding of just what you were getting yourself into so the next time - you would be as certain as humanly possible that you would do all in your power to make it work as would your spouse.
The thinking of days gone by was that "I've gotten a divorce.It was horrible.I felt horrible.No one really wins.I don't want to go through that again."And with that mentality, you worked harder to make sure you didn't go through it again.However, today's generation does not see or feel that stigma.Today's generation sees divorce as a contest - as something to be admired.I have heard countless conversations in which people laugh, "I've been divorced three times," or "I've been divorced four times."In one conversation I was with 3 other women (all of whom will remain unnamed) and Woman A said, giggling, "Well, it's official, I've filed for a divorce."Woman B said, "It's about time.I never could see what you saw in him in the first place."Woman A again giggled and said, "Well, he does have a great boat! I'm hoping to get that in the divorce."Woman C says, "So how many divorces will this make?"And Woman A says, "Seven."Woman C says, "I've got some catching up to do then cause I've only had four."Woman B says, "I've only had three.I've been thinking about divorcing this one but - well the economy is not all that great right now so he's safer than being out there."I then mentioned that I had never been divorced and the 3 women looked at me like, "What's wrong with you."Then Woman C said, "I don't know how you do it.I'd go crazy if I had to stay with anyone for more than seven or eight years.By then things just get boring." -- Now the woman who is now on her seventh divorce is only 41 years old and the other two women are in their mid to late 30's.Why is divorcing just a joke to them?Because there is no stigma attached.They have no incentive to look at what didn't work and what to do to try and make it work next time.In fact, their not interested in making anything work but are rather more interested in seeing what they can come out of the marriage with (like a boat).And believe me, this conversation was not a unique conversation.I hear it or something very similar to it nearly every week on the train, in the mall, at the grocery store, at the post office - you name it.People laugh, joke and brag about divorcing as something to do rather than something to try and avoid.That's why I think there should be a stigma.People should be compassionate to those who divorced through tough situations and be supportive in helping them regain their lives - not standing back and applauding them, rooting them on and asking, "So what did you get out of that marriage?A house?Stocks?A boat?" (Although not mentioned here - I've heard many similar conversations from men as well although their reasons for divorcing differ such as - "she got fat", "she doesn't cook well," and, as I've heard women say, "It's boring now.No excitement anymore.I'm still young and can attract some great looking women.")
ALL marriages take two people who are 100% into the marriage and making it work.No marriage can survive if one partner is only giving 20% or 40% and the other is giving 100%.For the one giving 100% they are victims of mental abuse which I mentioned as a criteria for divorce.As the one giving 100% you do have to eventually come to realize that no matter how much you give, you will never get the other person to be as committed to the marriage as you are and in that realization, there is a great deal of pain.A million lost dreams are realized and a divorce is very hard but, in the long run, can be very therapeutic to healing - for both parties.A person in this situation does take marriage seriously.If they didn't, they would have never even made any attempt to try and save the marriage.The point in my article was that today's generation, for the most part, will not make even the slightest effort to try and make a marriage work.Their mentality is that marriage should be fun and if things get a little rough - I'm outta here and they do just that.Divorcing for many has even been termed as being "fun".Years ago I very much doubt if you would have talked to anyone who had been through a divorce as it having been "fun".
As far as falling out of love - I'm not really sold on that.People can lose their way, forgetting what originally brought them together, but falling out of love - not without allowing it to happen.Again, though, if both parties are not giving 100% to the marriage, then emotional abuse is taking place.But let's address the falling out of love part.A friend of mine a few years back went through a really rough time in her marriage.For twenty years things went very well.Suddenly, or it seemed to me to be suddenly, she stopped communicating.After several months she finally spoke to me and told me that she and her husband were going through a bad time.He had started to become distant to her to the point she started to think that he was having an affair.Finally after several months she confronted him and he said that he hadn't had an affair but he was questioning whether he wanted to be married to her anymore.He had hit 40 years of age and she had been his only girlfriend - the only woman in his life and he was now wondering what his life could have been had he had more girlfriends, had he travelled the world, had he done this thing or that thing.He was wondering about just how much of life he had missed out on and now that he was 40, he didn't want to miss out on anything else.She started to represent an entrapment to him so he stayed at work longer, closed himself off at home and eventually moved into one of the other bedrooms in the house.After living this way for nearly a year, he finally told her that he wanted to get a divorce.She was devastated.During that year she had tried to give him the space he needed - telling him to pursue some of the interests he had expressed.She tipped toed around him - hoping this was just a mid-life crises for him and now - he hit her with wanting the big "D".A few weeks later he filed for divorce but continued to live in the home.The two never spoke after that.I'm not certain of what the exact circumstances were after that but she came home one day had found him crying, divorce documents in his hands.He finally told her that he had the papers for the past few days and all he had to do was sign them and have her sign them.He said that the papers were supposed to represent his freedom but he felt they were his doom.He started to think about - not all the things he never did - but what would life be without her in it.In the more than a year that they had been going through this tough time he had never thought about what his life would be without her.He didn't want life without her.He rediscovered the love he had had for her back when they were teenagers, when they first married, when they had their first child, when they had lost a child.He was now terrified that she would want to go through with the divorce and he didn't but he knew she had the right to go through with it after the way he had been treating her.She never did want it and although the next couple of months were still rough, they were once again both 100% committed to making the marriage work.This year they celebrated their 32nd wedding anniversary, stronger in love and commitment to each other than ever.Although they had gone through a really rough time, they built upon what they learned during that time.They learned about themselves, the other person in the marriage and the importance of the institution of marriage.Her husband had believed he had fallen out of love with her, wanting what he had never had, but when it came to actually losing her he realized that he hadn't fallen out of love - only had become confused and lost by "what ifs" but in the long run - "what if's" didn' matter.This type of dedication to each other just isn't seen by the generations of today nor do the children of today see that type of commitment.So, I stand by my statement that the answer to the question, "Is Marriage Taken Seriously Anymore," to still be a resounding "NO".And if we don't change that attitude, the institution of marriage may become extinct.
Recently I was involved in a conversation with a group of people at work about the state of relationships as they exist today and how they differ from years gone by.Finally one person asked the following question: “Is marriage taken seriously anymore?”
Immediately after the question was asked people began to chime in on such things as gay marriage, civil marriage, plural marriage and even no marriage.A few mentioned that they believed that the institution of marriage was a thing of the past – that it was, at one time, only a means by which “women” were taken care of but nowadays women are very capable of taking care of themselves so marriage was no longer necessary.Huh?Well that response clearly had no religious understanding behind it.Others believed it still was taken seriously but had a different significance and that significance was the fact that people no longer had to feel “trapped” in an unfavorable marriage.There was no longer any stigma associated with divorce and so, in their opinion, marriage now comes with a lot less constraints and restrictions.My thought on that response was, “What constitutes as being unfavorable?”
For a number of years I worked for a sole-practitioner who handled several divorce cases.One case that I remember was a couple that had been married for one year.The wife came in asking for a divorce because, and these were her words, “I am tired of asking him to take out the trash.I am not going to put up with that any longer.I warned him and now I want a divorce.”To her, her husband’s lack of taking out the trash to her specification made her marriage “unfavorable”.Really?Is that a legitimate reason to get a divorce?Apparently so because she got it and her case of a trivial reason was not the only one we handled.So, yes, the comment made by my co-worker that there is no longer a stigma attached to being divorced is correct but is that really a good thing?
So it came to be my turn to answer the question on whether marriage is taken seriously anymore and here is how I responded:
“The resounding answer to that question is an unequivocable NO.Why? - Because this world has lost its values, its morals and its love for God and the family unit.In the past the family was the central core of any human’s existence.You loved, worked, lived and breathed for the unity of the family.The family consisted of a father, a mother, siblings and grandparents.Everything you did in life was to help strengthen and nurture that family unit and, in return, your reward was learning and understanding about yourself and knowing that you were not alone in this world.As a child you grew up in a family unit and learned what it would take to find, create and sustain your own family one day and the first part of that journey was to find a mate – not only someone to love and be best friends with but who held your same values, who would stand by you through thick and thin, who would be your sounding board, your strength, your confidant, your advisor, your spiritual helpmate.That relationship you knew would need to be nurtured and not taken lightly or for granted.It would be a relationship that would take a lot of work and self sacrifice but it would most definitely in the end be worth it.Building a strong relationship between you and your spouse was paramount to creating a strong family unit for your children.In the past, everyone knew and understood this and that is why marriage was taken very seriously.It was understood that it was to be a lifelong commitment.You knew that there would be bad times, horrible times and hard times but you also knew that there would be spectacular times, inspiring times, uplifting times and joyous times.As the hair on your heads turned grey, you and your spouse could look back and realize, together, that you wouldn’t have changed a thing – not even the bad for, in reality, that is when you learned and grew the most.
Today – people are different.Gone almost completely is the love for the family unit.God has very little to do with anything – He only gets in the way.In their place we have found selfishness and feelings and beliefs of self-entitlements.Today people think the world revolves around them and them only.It’s all about what I want, what I like, what I feel – me, me, me and more me.If the other person in your life doesn’t give you what you want you simply discard them.Children are seen as a burden not as a blessing (notice how pet stores have sprung up over just the past 20 years – their less burdensome).Why? – Because children hinder upon their finances and freedom to do whatever, whenever.There are no moral or spiritual commitments to anyone or anything.In fact, anything that even hints at being moral or spiritual is spat upon or quickly brushed aside as irrelevant and infantile.Why? – Because both moral and spiritual values entail sacrifice of self – a totally foreign concept for the entitlees of today.The entitlees of today will tell you that they are freer to express themselves – to be themselves – whatever lifestyle that may entail.That is truly comical because if they could only stand back and take a real hard look at themselves they would easily see that it is they who have become enslaved to a corrupt, addictive mentality that, in the end, will only bring them heartache, loneliness and deep despair.It is the very loss of the seriousness of marriage and all that it entails that has and continues to corrode the foundation of the entire world.It is why the children of today flounder in knowing who they are, what their purpose is, what their value is and what kind of future will they have.Without having the strong bond and values of a family unit solidified through marriage, they are lost.We have an entire generation that is traveling down a road to nowhere.”
I do believe that there are circumstances that warrant a divorce – those that entail physical and/or emotional abuse – severe and persistent abuse not just a one time thing.Marriage is work – hard work – unending work although it does get a lot easier as we age and get a history behind us.It is not all sunflowers and roses.It also entails thorns, splinters and spasms.This is what you sign on for when you make the decision to get married.You don’t go running when times get a little rough but society today echoes the very opposite.Today’s mentality is – I don’t like that so I’m out of here.Divorcing is easy.In fact, today if you have never been divorced you are looked at as though there is something wrong with you.To me, that mind thinking is what is wrong but it reflects the average opinion of what marriage is today.It’s mostly used as a tax shelter but the laws are revolving to eliminate that so marriage is on a drastic decline and as it continues to decline, so shall we all.
If we want to fix this we need to once again hold marriage as sacred.We need to honor each other and grow together – not follow selfish different pathways.And, above all, we need to bring God back into the picture because if He isn’t there – then nothing else will ever really matter.
Do you
remember a time when decency reigned in this country?Oh, for sure, people had differences of
opinions, beliefs and value systems but overall we treated each other with
respect and that was especially true when it came to young people and
adults.As a child (and I use this term
broadly to include small children all the way up through high school age), you
respected all adults whether they were your parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles,
teachers, police officers, librarians, etc.You may not have always agreed with the adults but you never argued with
them, cursed at them, berated them, ignored them and outright bullied them.Just the thought of doing any such things
would frighten and repulse you.Unfortunately, those feelings and opinions are no longer recognized or
adhered to by today’s youth.
As most
people are well aware of by now, just this past week in upstate New York a 68 year old
grandmother who worked as a school bus monitor was maliciously and repeatedly
maligned and bullied on a school bus by 12 and 13 year old students.Foul language was repeatedly hurled at her,
derogatory remarks about her weight were spewed upon her over and over again,
reference to “stabbing” her was uttered in gleeful laughter, and when she
cried, insults increased.Not one ounce
of compassion was shown to her.Not one
student stood up to her defense.Not
even the bus driver did a thing.How is
it that our youth of today have grown to be so callous, so uncompassionate, so
hateful and so disrespectful to what should be so precious and so dear?
Political
Correctness and Child Protective Services: Destroyers of the Family.
As I have
written in prior posts, political correction has done a massive amount of
damage in how our society has and is evolving.Nowadays it is nearly impossible for a parent to teach their children
about what is right and what is wrong and what is real truth and what is
absolute lies.Why?Because the political correctness
bandwagoners loudly scream out foul play.To them, nothing is wrong and anything or anyone teaching otherwise is
teaching hatred.So, from this warped
thinking comes a generation that is being reared with no value system – no
concept of right and wrong – and most certainly no understanding of
consequences to actions.
But the
political correctness craze is not the only factor in the downfall of today’s
youth.Child Protective Services (CPS)
has also played a huge role in the degradation of the values of youth when it
comes to their interaction with their fellowmen and especially as they relate
to any adult authority.Again, as I
wrote about in an earlier post, CPS defines “anything” that makes you feel uncomfortable
as being an act of abuse.If a teacher
tells you to do a homework assignment and that makes you feel uncomfortable,
then the child is to deem the teacher as an abuser.If a parent asks a child to clean up their
room or tells him or her that they cannot go out late at night or that they
cannot wear a questionable outfit, then that child is free to make the
determination that the parent’s limitation on them is an act of abuse against
them.If a child works and their boss
tells them to do something that they don’t want to (which makes them feel
uncomfortable) then the boss is considered an abusive person.The list goes on and on to the point that
anything any adult does or says is to be considered “abusive” by the youth of
today.Since the youth see all adults as
abusers, they believe that they have no obligation to show any of them any
respect, any compassion and certainly not any feelings that the adults are even
human beings.CPS has instilled in them
that they are all powerful, all mighty and that the world should revolve around
them and their wants and, of course, that they can do no wrong.It is under these brainwashing concepts that
the students onboard that New York
school bus treated the bus monitor as they did.They believed it was their right and their prerogative to treat her as
they wished since she was, in their eyes, a non-human, invaluable thing that
deserved what she got for their misconceived determinations that she was an
“abuser” of their freedom to do whatever.
Don’t be fooled by
hollow apologies.
Since the
video of the bullying of the bus monitor spread throughout the airwaves, the
students involved in the incident have come forward, crying that they were
sorry for what they did.Don’t believe
them.They’re not sorry for what they
did but are sorry that their “fun” was received with shock and outrage.Some have received a lot of threats in
return.I do not condone those threats
but I do condone the treatment they are receiving as at least a showing of
consequences for their actions.I hope
in time that their faked apologies today will, in the long run, after their
consequences die down, impact them enough to make them want to become better
human beings themselves.After all, they
won’t be youths forever and will one day sit in the bus monitor’s seat as an adult,
a parent, a grandparent.
What we must do to
change the course of the youth.
We, as
adults, cannot sit back any longer as our youth slip away into darkness and
corruption.If we want the youth to
change, we have got to stand up against a society that is warring against our
value system.Stand up against political
correctness, make CPS accountable for the acts that they have aroused, be firm
in teaching right and wrong.Point out
what is real truth and what is falsely indoctrinated into them.BE PARENTS – not submissive friends afraid to
act because if you, as parents, don’t act then this generation will truly be
lost forever.
Child Protective Services (CPS) – Now if there was ever an oxymoron this so called agency would have to be at the top of the list.CPS was originally established in 1974 and its main purpose was to study and investigate possible incidents of reported child abuse.After conducting a thorough and complete investigation, the agency was to determine whether or not the abuse was actual or unsubstantiated.If the abuse was actual then the agency was to report same to the appropriate legal authorities and then aid the legal authorities in providing recommendations for resolving the incidents such as providing counseling, follow-up reviews and, in the most severe cases, removal of the child from their home and placing them either with other relatives as a first line of protection or, as a last resort, into foster care.Over the past few decades, however, CPS has transformed itself into being the biggest and deadliest perpetrator of child abuse this nation has ever encountered.How do they get away with it?Simply put – the agency has virtually no accountability for any of its actions whatsoever.
I do not believe there is anyone who actually believes that child abuse does not exist in our society.Clearly it does and the most egregious cases of abuse have made the headline news.The brutality, gruesomeness, ungodly atrocities that innocent children have had to endure under the hands of caregivers goes beyond what any normal human’s mind can grasp.It is appalling and heart-wrenching and our collective anger that such horrors have been able to occur has, in part, played into the hands of CPS.We, as a society, naively placed our trust into CPS believing that they would “protect” the innocent.We told them to “do what you have to” to stop the abuse.What we didn’t do, however, was to provide them with specific guidelines of what is to be considered as actual abuse.In essence, we gave them a blank check because we didn’t want to deal with the problem directly and CPS was all too happy to comply with our wishes.
CPS’s Standard for Classification of Substantiated Abuse
I find it rather interesting that just a few decades ago child abuse almost didn’t exist at all.No one even heard of it or, at the very least, no one certainly knew of anyone who was abused or who was being abused and no one considered themselves as being abused.Why then is it that over the past 20 to 30 years the number of supposed abuse cases reported in our nation has skyrocketed into the millions per year?In fact, in 1993 CPS reported that “there are 60 million survivors of childhood abuse in America.”Really?60 million?How can that be?To answer that question we have to look at what CPS classifies as “abuse”.
Elementary, Middle and High Schools across our land have been, and are continuing to be, visited by agents of CPS.These agents attend classes and instruct our children on what abuse is.For the most part, parents are never notified of these visits.CPS’s justification for this is that they want the “children to feel safe in discussing any issue that goes on in their home without fear of ‘retaliation’ from their parents.”This mindset instills in our children that there should be a “wedge” between them and their parents, that they must keep secrets from their parents and that all parents are perpetrators – I mean, don’t all parents “retaliate” against their children?According to CPS – the answer is a resounding “yes”.And what does the CPS agent tell our children what is defined as being abuse?CPS’s guideline for what constitutes abuse is “anything anyone says or does that makes you feel uncomfortable is a form of abuse.”That’s it – that’s the whole guideline – ANYTHING that makes you feel uncomfortable.In addition, the agent instructs the children to report anything that makes them feel uncomfortable to their teachers, their school counselors, the police or call and report it to CPS but do not let your parents know you are reporting them.So, what does that mean to you and me?If you ask your child to take out the trash and that act makes him or her feel “uncomfortable” then they are to consider your action as being abusive to them and they, in turn, can report you to either their teachers, school counselors, the police or CPS and, believe me, you WILL be investigated for it and your name will go on a report as a possible child abuser.You should also know that the child does NOT have to prove anything and if and when the supposed abuse incident is deemed unsubstantiated, there is no accountability to the child for making the report.Again, you should be aware of the fact that the “accused” in a child abuse matter is always deemed “guilty” until he or she can prove that they are innocent.
In studying up on this issue, I came across several ridiculous stories of supposed child abuse but I decided to list here the two that most affected me.The first took place just a few years ago in Florida when a 9 year old boy reported to his teacher at school that his parents refused to buy him a TV for his bedroom.This was very upsetting to him.The teacher reported it to his school counselor who in turn reported it to CPS.Two CPS agents, along with two police officers, showed up at the boy’s house on a claim of “emotional abuse”.The parents were stunned.They advised the CPS agents that they had made the determination not to let any of their children have a TV in their bedrooms as it distracted them from doing their homework and sleeping at night.The CPS agents told the parents that they “needed parental counseling” and if they did not buy a TV for their son that he would be “removed” from the home and placed in foster care.It was their determination that this was a substantiated case of child abuse and if the parents did not comply, not only would the boy be removed from the home but so would the other children.One of the agents then announced that if the parents did not consent to purchasing the TV at that very moment, then the police officers with them would remove their son right then.Frightened, the parents verbally consented and a week later the CPS agents and police officers returned to the home and visually inspected the boy’s room to witness that the boy now had a TV.
In the second incident, a 7 year old girl was sitting in her classroom and her teacher noticed she had gum stuck in her hair.The teacher asked the girl about the gum and was told that her mother had given her a piece of gum after dinner the night before and, after chewing it for a while, she had placed it under her pillow.She claimed it must have gotten stuck in her hair during the night and she didn’t want to tell her mother about it because her mother would get mad at her.The teacher then sent the child to her school counselor to report the incident.Later that very afternoon two CPS agents and police officers showed up at the girl’s home.The CPS agents stated they were there to investigate the mother because the daughter was “fearful” of her and what her mother would “do to her”.The mother, at that point, naturally had no idea what was going on.She was questioned, however, on why her daughter was so fearful of her.The little girl was present for this questioning and after watching her mother being hounded by the CPS agents, looked at her mother and said, “Mommy’s a bad person.”One of the agents pulled the little girl into her arms and told her, “Don’t worry.We’re here to protect you.”At some point the father came home during the interrogation and the CPS agents ended with giving him an ultimatum between either having them take the child into protective care or having the mother leave the home until she could be fully investigated.Bewildered, the mother left the home.It took 30 days for the investigation report to come back stating that the mother could now return to the home but that CPS would be keeping an eye on her.At no point was the gum issue ever brought up by the CPS agents.
Both of these incidents seem totally unbelievable.Certainly these didn’t really happen – but they did – and countless others like them.In fact, the numbers are staggering.Now you can see why today the reported cases of supposed child abuse runs into the millions.But what is equally if not more frightening in all of this is the fact that CPS is never, never, never held accountable for any of it.They just swoop in, breaking all kinds of legal laws – which I will not go into detail in this posting but will do so in another – destroying families, individual lives, careers, – the list goes on and on – just because their standard is that “anything” constitutes as abuse.
What’s in it for CPS?
We can no longer feign ignorance when it comes to CPS.And, although even I believe there are agents in the system who truly do desire to help the helpless victims of “real” abuse, even they are thwarted by the whole CPS establishment because, in truth, CPS has turned from an agency of protection to a business of big bucks and, since it’s a governmental body – that should be no surprise to anyone.So what’s in it for CPS?
For every child that CPS removes from the home and places them into foster care, the federal government pays that local agency $30,000.00.In addition, the parents are charged for the financial care of the child.If the child is handicapped, depending on the kind of handicap, the amount increases to between $40,000.00 and $150,000.00 per child.If the child is then “adopted” by a new family, an additional $4,000.00 bonus is given - $6,000.00 for adoption of a special needs child.The CPS agent who physically removes the child is given a commission from the government’s fund.The more kids removed – the more commission – the bigger the personal financial gain.On the other hand, if a child is allowed to remain in the home or is returned to the parental home, the CPS agency and agent receives nothing.Agents are, therefore, encouraged to remove children to help generate more funding for the agency.
CPS is a corrupt agency.
In November 2007, Georgia’s State Senator Nancy Schaefer published a report on CPS.Entitled, “The Corrupt Business of Child Protective Services,” Senator Shaefer’s report found, among other things, that CPS “issued unfair judgment on families without compassion and imposed unreasonable and impossible demands on the families that separated families and greatly stressed parents; law enforcement agencies routinely ignore complaints made against CPS; CPS receives extra funding for removing children from the home; fraud, fabrication, withholding and destroying of evidence, unnecessary termination of parental rights and then citing confidentiality clause to protect themselves; CPS gives kick backs to employees, lawyers, court investigators, guardian ad litems, judges, psychologists, psychiatrists, counselors, case workers, foster parents and others; CPS often interprets parental cooperation as an admittance of guilt; parents are treated as criminals; and children are in more danger in CPS care than in their own homes.”In fact, case studies revealed that children in the care of CPS are 600% more likely to die a violent death.So you tell me – who is the real abuser?
Senator Nancy Schaefer's Follow-Up on the Corruption in 2008
In 2008 Georgia Senator Nancy Schaefer did a follow-up on her report on the corruption in CPS and detailed how deep it went. Below is a video of Senator Schaefer's report. Just a few months after this video was made, Senator Schaefer and her husband were murdered. Although the media initially called Ms. Schaefer's death a murder/suicide, ongoing investigations have revealed more. It is now believed by many that Ms. Schaefer was actually "silenced" as her exposure could have cost CPS millions upon millions of dollars if counteraction was taken against them. The case remains open.
Parents Unite!
With the unchecked accountability that CPS has awarded itself, I foresee the future as even more bleak then it is today - most certainly so if we collectively stand by and allow it to continue.Many people turn a blind eye on the situation because they have not been a personal “victim” of CPS but I warn you – you’re time is coming.It’s time now for parents and grandparents to unite and start holding CPS accountable.Acquaint yourselves with the legal laws that, in reality, are there to protect you but for which far too many of us do not invoke.Understand that, legally, CPS has NO power – they are NOT a legal agency.That’s why they often show up with police officers – not that the police will do anything but they try to give you the illusion that they can.Beware that CPS agents will try to incite you to take an action that the police can then get involved.Don’t let them incite you – no matter how many false accusations they themselves will most likely make against you.The truth is, they cannot legally take a child from your home without a court order.In fact, if CPS agents show up on your doorstep, you can ask them to leave your premises and if they have anything to say, they are to contact your lawyer.You do not have to have any direct dealings with them.You actually have the power but thy use intimidation and blindsiding tactics to make you think you are helpless and that they have all the power.THEY DON’T.
In order to make a real change, however, we need to do more.Yes, an agency should exist to help those who are truly being brutally abused but we need to enforce strict guidelines of what constitutes abuse.We need to make certain that every single report is thoroughly investigated first before anyone is classified as a “possible abuser”.Before such classification is made, the allegation must be proven to be accurate without question.We need to make those investigations “open” so that both accuser and accused can be fully apprised of what the issues are and what is happening.We need to create checks and balances of the investigations so no biases are imposed by individual agents.We need the accuser to have to provide evidence of their allegations.And, finally, we need to outline consequences to be inflicted upon those who make false allegations and agents who abuse their role.This type of system and accountability is fair to all sides.Oh, and one other thing, we as parents need to pressure schools to stop hiding their tactics of alienating parents and children.If CPS agents are to come to the schools – then parents MUST be notified and ALLOWED to attend the classroom.No one or no agency has the right to ignore parental rights.
Will this change happen?It can if we unite.Already cases are making their way through the courts who are ruling against CPS agencies but these are few and far in-between.If we put repeated and unintimidating pressure on them, however, then they, in order to survive on any level, will have to change.We better act fast though because if something doesn’t change soon – we will lose all of our children and they, in turn, will never really know what it is like to be a parent because there will no longer be any such thing as parental rights.
I’ve thought long and hard about this posting, mainly because it’s a very sensitive topic to me personally and secondly because I believe the word “abuse” is pandered around too frequently making almost any action a person takes somehow destructive to another human being.We can thank Child Protective Services (CPS) for this overused and misdirected concept of what truly constitutes abuse.
As an example of the misdirected verbiage of abuse, not that long ago the headlines ran a story about a school personnel taking away the lunch of a student because it did not meet some bureaucrat’s definition of a healthy lunch.There was a meat sandwich and piece of fruit included in the lunch the mother provided but the mother of that child was verbally deemed to be “abusive” to her child for not providing the child with a mandated healthy lunch (again determined by some moron bureaucrat).Was that really “abusive” behavior?Since when can a parent not make a determination of what their child can or cannot take to school as a lunch?If the child wants a bag full of candy for lunch (not that I would recommend that outside of letting them get sick to prove that eating a bag of candy is probably not the most wisest decision) then it’s no-one else’s business.I have a nephew who, as a young child, would only eat cereal.The doctor told us that if that’s what he wants then just let him eat it – it certainly wasn’t making him unhealthy.So we let him eat cereal.Today if we were to do that – we would have been investigated for “abuse” in the form of negligent nutrition.Give me a break.
In another instance, I told one of my children to take their shoes off of the sofa or put their feet on the floor.This child got up and called the police – stating that I was abusive in making them feel uncomfortable.CPS had been at the school instructing the students that “anything” anyone says or does that makes them feel uncomfortable is considered “abuse” and they are to report any incident to CPS or the police.My asking them to remove their shoes made them feel “uncomfortable” and, therefore, they interpreted that as being a “fact” that I was being “abusive” to them.The same thing happened another time when I asked this child to push their chair in at the dinner table once they stood up to leave.The police showed up at my door because I had made my child “uncomfortable” which is a form of “abuse”.Again – are you freaking kidding me?I mentioned this ridiculousness to the CPS person who simply said, “Oh yeah, we tell the kids that so they can feel safe.”What?In other words, anything a parent asks a child to do (such as clean their room, take out the trash, unload the dishes, etc.) that the child does not want to do is grounds for the child to call either CPS or the police to report their parent for abuse.Do you ever get the feeling that this world has gone mad?But I’m getting away from the topic on hand – that being what does a parent of an abusive child do?
First off, let’s define the TRUE meaning of what constitutes abuse.
Abuse is a repeated act, either verbally or physically, rendered with the intentional design to inflict either emotional or physical harm to another.
The two things we need to focus on here are “repeated act” and “intentional”.What this means is that a parent can repeatedly tell a child to clean their room (since clearly once is never enough) but that repeated act is not an “intentional” design to inflict emotional or physical harm.It’s to instill cleanliness and orderliness and the understanding of how a family unit needs to work together on all levels, including taking care of the household and to learn to work within the laws of our land because there will always be someone telling them what they can and cannot do to fit into society as a whole.
Let’s face it that we all at times throughout our lives say things verbally to others that do inflict emotional distress but those times were not “intentional” but merely misguided and are rarely ever “repeated acts”.So if a person says something that affects your emotional state, you cannot simply cry out that they were being abusive.It doesn’t meet the criteria of actual abuse.
Clearly there are true incidents of abuse in the world and the cruelest being levied upon children but if you look to CPS, they will have you believe that the act of parental abuse is rampant when in truth – it is a very rare thing.The fact that CPS now deems anything a parent says that a child does not like is to be classified as being abusive will make CPS declare that abuse is on the rise.In fact, in one recent statistic I saw, CPS stated that one in every three households contains an “abusive” parent.Really?One in every three?How lame and, more importantly, how damning to millions of “innocent” parents.So if CPS deems anything a parent asks a child to do as being abusive – then what does it deem abusive that a child does to a parent?Answer:(And this came directly from a child psychologist – don’t get me started) – “Children cannot lie or be abusive.”Like – what planet does this person think their living on?And what’s this all about “bullying” in schools?
Unfortunately, far too many people seem to agree with the not-from-this-planet psychologist because as I began to research the internet for help available to parents who are victims of abusive children (both younger and older children), I could barely find a thing.Every time I would input “abusive child” the search engines would bring up “abusive parent”.It didn’t seem to matter how I would try and rephrase my search line to find assistance for abused parents, it always came up abusive parents or abused child.Come on now – my husband and I cannot be the only ones who have been subjected to abusive children who have committed “repeated acts” of “intentional” design to inflict emotional harm – and find delight in doing so.
It took me a while but I did find one blog where parents expressed their own frustration of not knowing what to do about their abusive child and not knowing where to go to get help.Talk about an ignored group of people who are in desperate need of some help – even if it’s just to have someone listen to them, understand their anguish, know that they are, in fact, being abused by their child or children and who need reassurance that their parental acts of caring did not and do not warrant the treatment they receive from their children.That they are not the monsters their children would like them to believe and who delight in telling others how horrific their parents are just to get more digs in and to alienate their parents from other family members and friends.And, I’m sorry, but the repeated responses I saw given to these parents who were seeking help was to either eliminate the child from their life or to be extra “sweet” to the child.Those responses are simply not viable answers.In fact, they’re quite lame.This is not a one size fits all situations problem.
Being a parent of abusive children, I have felt my own share of total and complete frustrations.It’s like no one really understands and you feel totally alone and start thinking something is wrong with you.I have even asked God why he has allowed this and then one day I got to thinking – how many of God’s children abuse him?If anyone knows how we feel – believe me He DOES!So my next question was – how do we get support for each other?That one is a little more tricky because I’m still not sure of how to obtain the resources but I figured I’d start out by writing this blog post.I’m opening the door to all those parents who have been and who are being abused and feel that they have no where to turn.I don’t have answers for you – I’m trying to find my own answers – but I’d like you to feel free to comment here and know that there is someone at least willing to listen – sometimes that’s all we really need.Maybe in time, if enough come and vent – we can begin to work together to help each other.Maybe I’m a little over optimistic in this pursuit but for now – I’m offering you a sounding-off platform.I hope you take advantage of it and come to realize that you are not alone.We know - we feel – we understand.
